i know it's weird to ask like this but i know it's father's day and i had no way to reach my father. so if you see my brother, my mother (esp you RG...) or even the best, my father himself, please please say happy father's day to him and that i can't wait to see him in less than 2 weeks.

not a huge favour to ask but it would mean so much to me. i haven't talk to my family for 2 weeks now...

I didn't lie when I said that I didn't really want this school term to end, I was saying what my heart felt. That is because I like this place way more than where I had been living. Here I have clean air, I have greens, I have silence, I have more freedom, I have different sorts of entertainment. And I have definitely met some good friends that I don't really be apart with for 2 months.
This is a place where I found my independence and self-deteremination. In some ways, I know more about what I want to do with my life. And in some ways, I have thought more about the future, realistically. I realize, truly realize, how bizarre my future now seems like and I have never felt this lost before. Although I'm constantly feeling confused, of what I am doing here, of what I am going to do, etc., I do understand that this is a part of growing up. This is a place that brought me into another stage of my life. Another story of me growing up. This time is more about myself. This time I think I see myself clearly. In the past I thought too much about everyone and no matter how it brought me joy or sadness, it was just not the only thing to be think about. Now I understand why I have to think more about myself. I understand that even though I love being selfless and caring, there are reasons to be a little more selfish sometimes.

But I do want to go back. To the place I started to know about myself. To the place where I started to dream. I think I kind of realize now, that sometimes the environment does not matter. I used to say that it was the environment of this western country I was longing for, well obviously that is not the biggest reason. At this moment I don't care if people call it escaping or pursuing a dream, I did this and that's all that counts. I miss my friends, I miss my grandparents, I miss my family. I know, I know I come back once in a while, but I just can't wait to spend the summer, my favorite season, with all these people that I love.

It's just strange. I bet I'm going to be really upset when I leave the school a month later but so so excited when I'm on the flight back to Hong Kong. Oh well...